The Queensberry Rules
Sound your trumpet at the crossroads
if you don’t want to be t-boned by a fiddler.
Blink your flashlight in the basement
where maybe something hairy lurks.
Carry flowers on your power walk,
you may be merging with a funeral.
Drape a black cloth on your mirror
lest it open on eternity.
Don’t take a neutral corner ‘til
you’re sure you’ve got that bad-boy beat.
Never be prepared
to shower with a scoutmaster,
or sit your son the on the lap
of a priest playing Santa Claus.
Don’t allow your daughter to shop
for mattresses with a pimp.
Remember that a whistle on a lanyard
is no guarantor of gonads.
Above all bite your lying tongue before you aim
‘I love you’ anywhere below the waist.