Friday, December 21, 2007

Reflections: The Pain of It All

For the past two weeks I have been coping with a considerable level of pain emanating from, but not limited to, a wrenched back. Due, apparently, to related sciatic nerve impingement, any walking has been accomplished only with the help of narcotic pain pills and muscle relaxants (for the first week), and mass quantities of Ibuprofen. The impossibility of finding a comfortable position in which to sleep; the more or less constant, sometimes severe, pain (now, thankfully, beginning to diminish); the lack of mobility, either walking or driving, and the inability to undertake any of life's little routines, including necessities such as bathing and going to the bathroom, without great effort, I find to be a consciousness-altering experience: the whole world has looked different to me. I sit in my familiar recliner, looking at my familiar surroundings, and feel out to sea. It is an alienation from self. I watch other people walking down to street with envy, unable to firmly believe that I will ever again do so myself. But I'm not complaining. It is humbling to be so struck down, and therefore valuable. Every moment of life must be looked upon as an undeserved gift; and even pain as a precious opportunity to transcend the forgetfulness that plagues our existence.

4 comments:

William R. Barker said...

Bummer, Rob. My back goes out every few years. The first time it happened I was in my late 20's and I think what did it was simply twisting the wrong way while getting into the car. (*SHRUG*) Anyway, over a short drive I felt it tightening up and the end result was that I spent a night stuck on my father-in-law's living room floor with a couple INCREDIBLY painful assisted trips to the john.

It's happened three or four times since and when it happens, when my back freezes up, it's simply agony to move.

With me... it only lasts a few days. (*FINGERS CROSSED*) At least so far that's been the pattern.

Good luck and I hope your back pain goes away quickly - hopefully by Christmas Eve!

BTW... MERRY CHRISTMAS!

BILL

Rodak said...

Thanks, Bill--
Mine has always previously been exactly like yours. This complication with the sciatic nerve is new. I was just getting out of bed when it happened. Wham!
It is putting a damper on my holiday spirit. But, that said...
Merry Christmas to you and yours!

An Interested Party said...

My condolences on your pain, but my congratulations on how you are looking at the whole situation...

Rodak said...

Thanks, AIP--
I find that brooding and self-pity only make things worse.